Berbual dan bercakap dengan anak yang dewasa perlukan hikmah dan kebijaksanaan. Tutur kata perlu halus. Tetapi bersahaja.
Bab ni ramai ibubapa terkehel. Termasuk saya sendiri satu masa dahulu. Syukur jumpa jalan lebih baik.
Sebab? Komunikasi dengan anak beza.
Tiada bentuk arahan ala “I’m the boss”. Yang ada adalah buddy talks. Ala ala jom kita. Buat bersama.
Sebelum ini pernah diskus movie dengan Haikal. Cerita Star Wars. Saya tonton masa kecil dulu. Selepas tua lagi bangka tak tonton lagi.
Kami berbual pasal Yoda. Mencari makna pada watak Yoda. Kenapa Yoda wujud dalam movies itu.
Dalam diskus tu Haikal sebut, “Sebab tu penting jadi intelligence macam Yoda!”
Saya senyum. Saya sebut “Yoda tinggi lagi dari intelligence.”
Haikal buat muka tak puas hati. “What?” perkataan ni terpacul dari mulut. “What do you mean higher than intelligence?” Soalan curious Haikal muncul terus.
“Haikal, do you have intelligence friends? Yang you considered intelligence… hmmm macam dapat straight As or 4 flat for the CGPA.”
“Off course la dad. I have.” kata Haikal sambil kononnnya sapu habuk atas bahu. Dia nak bagitahu yang dia ni berkawan dengan orang cerdik. Dia pun cerdik la kot.
Saya sebut “Katalah Haikal ada problem. Haikal ada dua pilihan. Cerita masalah pada kawan yang intelligence or talk to your Tok Wan. Which one would you choose.”
Dia terus jawab, “Depends on the problem.”
“Ya betul,” jawab saya. “But who would you choose?”
“Tok wan,” jawab Haikal pendek.
Saya tanya lagi, “What make you choose Tok Wan!”
Kata Haikal, “Because he got experience. Dia ada wisdom.”
“Yes Haikal. That’s true. Dalam hidup kita bukan buru intelligence. Kita mahu jadi wise. Ada wisdom. Wisdom lebih berharga dari intelligence.”
“Kerana apa?”
“Memburu kebijakan itu hebat. Tetapi memiliki hikmah itu luarbiasa. Sebabnya Haikal:”
1. Intelligence leads to arguments. Wisdom leads to settlements.
2. Intelligence is power of will. Wisdom is power OVER will.
3. Intelligence is heat, it burns. Wisdom is warmth, it comforts.
4. Intelligence is pursuit of knowledge, it tires the seeker. Wisdom is pursuit of truth, it inspires the seeker.
5. Intelligence is holding on. Wisdom is letting go.
6. Intelligence leads you. Wisdom guides you.
7. An intelligent man thinks he knows everything.
A wise man knows that there is still something to learn.
8. An intelligent man always tries to prove his point. A wise man knows there really is no point.
9. An intelligent man freely gives unsolicited advice. A wise man keeps his counsel until all options are considered.
10. An intelligent man understands what is being said. A wise man understands what is left unsaid.
11. An intelligent man speaks when he has to say something. A wise man speaks when he has something to say.
12. An intelligent man sees everything as relative. A wise man sees everything as related.
13. An intelligent man tries to control the mass flow. A wise man navigates the mass flow.
14. An intelligent man preaches. A wise man reaches.
Intelligence is good but wisdom achieves better results.
Habis bicara saya sentuh bahu Haikal. “Do you understand now Haikal what are you suppose to do?”
Saya pandang wajah Haikal. Biar sebentar dia teroka alam fikirnya.
“Ya be wiser.”
Begitulah. Mendidik bukan mengherdik. Bukan juga salah yang dibidik.
Mendidik untuk buka pintu akal. Buat bekalan pada menanti di hadapan.
